The Power of Talk: Who gets Heard and Why?

Women debaters are forced to walk a fine line between being too assertive and being too meek.

Two weeks ago, I walked out of a meeting with a supervisor feeling confident that I had presented a compelling plan for the future of our organization. I was convinced that my team had done our best and I believed that our presentation had gone well. Later that week, my supervisor provided me with some feedback on my presentation. She said that I used the phrase “I think” to much and that the phrase made it look like I was unprepared and not confident with my plan.  She warned me that while she was aware that I knew my stuff, in the work force my phrasing might cause my future superiors to think that I lacked confidence. This helpful advice made me realize that my linguist style had detracted from my message.

Deborah Tannen’s article “The Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why” argues that groups of individuals, especially women, are often overlooked, undervalued or ignored because their linguistic style is different from the traditionally masculine excepted style of speaking. She defines linguist style as “a person’s characteristic speaking pattern, directness or indirectness, pacing and pausing, word choice, use of such elements as jokes, figures of speech, stories, questions and apologies."

 Many individuals are overlooked because their peers and their superiors believe that they lack confidence or that they are incompetent. She writes that confidence and other attributes are found in the “presentation and form of talk."  Communication is more than just saying what you mean. She says that “how you say what you mean is crucial…because language is learned social behavior;” thus, “how we talk and listen are deeply influenced by cultural experience." This difference cultural experience between men and women results in different linguist styles that are perceived to be natural for different groups of people. Women, according to Tannen, are socialized into modesty because “girls tend to learn conversational rituals that focus on the rapport dimension of relationships." Men are socialized into valuing status. When boys or men give orders they are acting in way that allows them to show dominance over others, establishing a higher social standing. However, girls and women are more likely to be viewed as being bossy. This perception is present in the workplace. Thus, women are more likely to downplay their achievements and use “we” instead of “I” when describing personal achievements. This can make it seem like their male counterparts are more competent and successful; thus, they may be rewarded, hired, or promoted at a higher rate.

This has some very important ramifications for debate. There are two ways to overcome this burden. First, actively make sure that you appear confident when you speak. Don't apologize and speak directly without using phrases that down play your knowledge and skill.

Or we can use our understanding of differences and change the way that we judge debates. This means that judges and debaters should train themselves to be receptive to new ways of presenting arguments. Solving the problem this way makes our community more inclusive and allows us to benefit from different styles and characteristics.

References:
The Power of Talk: Who gets Heard and Why